Fatigue Update

Next up in the series of recent things going on, I've been finding that I feel more fatigued than previously. Its a blend of both physical and mental fatigue.

On the physical fatigue side, the updates that I've written about in recent days are all signs that my mobility is getting slower, and that more effort is required to move about. So, that fairly easily captures that side.

The mental side has several components. The obvious one is that with the knowledge I have about HSP, I can see myself in the future, where mobility is more difficult, and my reliance on the help of others is likely to increase. Whilst I've been working hard to influence the attitudes of people around me that disability is not negative, that influence only goes so far, and there is still a lot of general societal perspectives that disability is negative. Its not comfortable to see myself through that lens.

In parallel with this there are also lots of things going on outside of HSP world. In summary the three headline items are: There was a lot of effort needed to help my eldest through GCSE's, and more effort needed to help him with getting a good start at A-levels. There's a lot going on with my mum, and I feel guilty about being half-way across the country - my sister is carrying a lot of the load there. Lastly, my divorce continues to rumble along.

The last element of life is my work. This has been carrying as it has been in recent years, with some times more challenging than others. A conversation with a friend recently added a fourth reason to the list of why I work there; nice people, interesting projects, I have been treated well, and I am aligned with the approach to the quality of our work. 

The result of all of this is that It's not much fun getting to halfway through the evening and not feeling like I have any energy to do anything. It means that my social media scrolling has increased, and I'm sure thats not good for me. This post is all about getting to a change I'm making in the new year at work. 

Having been in my new house for about a year and a half, I'm finding that expenses are fairly consistent. So I'm choosing to drop the number of hours I work each week. I currently work 36 hours a week, which is 4.5 days a week. I originally dropped the half-day to allow me to do half the school runs, but it has subtly morphed into fatigue management. In January I'm dropping to 33 hours week, which gets me an hour back on three days out of 5. Yes, there's an equivalent drop in salary, but I'm hoping that those three hours help me get more energy in the evening so that I can do more things that I enjoy instead of not much. I will find out after a few months if that has made a difference and/or if I can cope with the lower salary.